Darlene Zschech - Call Upon His Name

My favourite fictional book of all time is I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith.

I was first introduced to the book after I became a fan of Romola Garai, absolutely loving her performance in Amazing Grace. The unusual title (you don't understand it until you read the book) prompted me to watch the trailer on Youtube. The trailer presented a storyline so quaint and interesting that I resolved to find the movie and watch it.

Then, a few weeks' later, I was at a Jessica C's house for a sleepover. Jess has an impressive bookcase; it's my favourite part about going over to her house. I saw I Capture the Castle among the titles and cried out, "Can I borrow it please?" However, the book was given to her by a beloved grandmother, and she wasn't willing to lend it out. I'm a sentimental person myself; I don't blame her.

I found the book at the library when I returned to Singapore for a visit. Because the book was too long for me to read within two weeks' (I had three other thick books to finish), I flipped through it very briefly, although I could tell how rich and textured the story was, and how beautiful the language used.

Then, I bought the book. It's been no turning back since then - I'm a die hard fan.

The story is the diary of Cassandra Mortmain, a seventeen-year-old girl living in a derelict castle with her father Mortmain - a former bestselling author who is suffering from a financially-crippling writer's block -, her stepmother Topaz - an eccentric beauty who was a former model -, her beautiful older sister Rose, her younger brother Thomas and their help/friend Stephen. Their lives are turned upside down by the arrival of the grandsons of their late landlord. Simon and Neil Cotton are American, rich and good looking, although Simon has a beard which Cassandra dislikes.

Eventually, through her flirtatiousness and beauty, Rose becomes engaged to Simon, the older of the two brothers. However, Cassandra finds herself falling for Simon as well. Someone once said something to the effect of, "Cassandra was poised between childhood and adultery."

Dodie Smith wrote this story while she was living in America during a fit of homesickness. She took two years to finish the story, constantly rewriting every word of it and even making a model of the castle. She was so determined to make it work. I have to say that her efforts did not go wasted.

This story is for people who love intelligent romances with average-looking heroes and heroines, quirky characters and a somewhat realistic ending. I've read the book over five times and I've never wanted the story to end. And yet, if someone were to write the ending of the book (as Alexandra Ripley did with Gone with the Wind), it would ruin the whole bittersweetness of the story.

I would recommend this story to anyone. (So far, I have one successful convert.) Read this book - you won't regret it.

Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

There's an episode of House where Wilson (*swoon*) goes to House while they're in the coma guy's room and says something like, "You need people to like you," and House replies, "I don't need people to like me."

I often ask myself if I need people to like me... I mean, I like people to like me, but do I need them to like me?

At this point in my life, I essentially have two best friends - Char and Jess. I used to see Char almost every day, hang out with her every day. Jess I don't see as much (and I'm really sorry about that) but we're crazy when we're together. I don't feel a lack when I don't see my friends for more than three days... Maybe it's that "isolated homeschooler syndrome" getting to me.

I usually don't care when people don't like me. I don't go out of my way to make them like me. It doesn't make me insecure that people don't like me. The beauty about the situation when someone doesn't like me usually is that I don't like them either. But I don't hate anyone's guts. I'll still say hi to them and not spread malicious rumours about them, and I hope they'd at least do the same for me. You know.

Confession here: When I was in fifth grade, I started a hate club. I don't really recall why I did so... I think 'cause the girl was rich and liked the same guy as me. She was really tall and reasonably pretty (a bit of a Taiwanese pop star, but she was Taiwanese anyway), and thus the boys - including the guy I liked - paid her more attention. Love does make you do stupid things. I haven't seen her since I left the school.

I know that I'm not a very easy person to like. I'm very self-aware of my flaws, believe it or not. I know I can be grumpy, sarcastic, insensitive, impatient, random, crazy, overly outspoken, and I think sometimes I appear condescending. I'm not condescending by nature, I think. Sometimes I don't know how to relate to certain people, and when I try, it comes off as condescending. But I'm not naturally that way.

My sister is an easier person to like. She's generally quiet, very sweet, and always appears helpful. As her older sister, I know better (haha); but no, I will admit that she's very easy to like. And she's pretty, too.

Don't tell me, "You're not ugly!" I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I'm stunning, either. I'm not tall, I'm not slender/skinny, I generally don't make an effort everyday to look as if I'd just stepped out of the pages of a magazine. (I mean, if you ask me to dress up for a certain event that isn't a wedding or formal dinner, I'd complain about it, but I'd do it willingly enough.) But I think once you get to know me, I think we'd get along pretty well.

But isn't that always the case?