Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

There's an episode of House where Wilson (*swoon*) goes to House while they're in the coma guy's room and says something like, "You need people to like you," and House replies, "I don't need people to like me."

I often ask myself if I need people to like me... I mean, I like people to like me, but do I need them to like me?

At this point in my life, I essentially have two best friends - Char and Jess. I used to see Char almost every day, hang out with her every day. Jess I don't see as much (and I'm really sorry about that) but we're crazy when we're together. I don't feel a lack when I don't see my friends for more than three days... Maybe it's that "isolated homeschooler syndrome" getting to me.

I usually don't care when people don't like me. I don't go out of my way to make them like me. It doesn't make me insecure that people don't like me. The beauty about the situation when someone doesn't like me usually is that I don't like them either. But I don't hate anyone's guts. I'll still say hi to them and not spread malicious rumours about them, and I hope they'd at least do the same for me. You know.

Confession here: When I was in fifth grade, I started a hate club. I don't really recall why I did so... I think 'cause the girl was rich and liked the same guy as me. She was really tall and reasonably pretty (a bit of a Taiwanese pop star, but she was Taiwanese anyway), and thus the boys - including the guy I liked - paid her more attention. Love does make you do stupid things. I haven't seen her since I left the school.

I know that I'm not a very easy person to like. I'm very self-aware of my flaws, believe it or not. I know I can be grumpy, sarcastic, insensitive, impatient, random, crazy, overly outspoken, and I think sometimes I appear condescending. I'm not condescending by nature, I think. Sometimes I don't know how to relate to certain people, and when I try, it comes off as condescending. But I'm not naturally that way.

My sister is an easier person to like. She's generally quiet, very sweet, and always appears helpful. As her older sister, I know better (haha); but no, I will admit that she's very easy to like. And she's pretty, too.

Don't tell me, "You're not ugly!" I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I'm stunning, either. I'm not tall, I'm not slender/skinny, I generally don't make an effort everyday to look as if I'd just stepped out of the pages of a magazine. (I mean, if you ask me to dress up for a certain event that isn't a wedding or formal dinner, I'd complain about it, but I'd do it willingly enough.) But I think once you get to know me, I think we'd get along pretty well.

But isn't that always the case?